Grace and Kicks in the Butt

Last Saturday, I got back from the Viable Paradise reunion. Some folks at the reunion asked if the reunion was renewing my commitment to writing. No, I told them. I didn’t need any kicks in the butt about writing. I needed to reaffirm my connection to my tribe and enjoy the magic that is talking to writers about the things only we talk about.

And I told people that I was already committed to writing, and had in fact been thinking about how to get more writing time so I could finish things faster. This has been especially important to me since my next project will (probably) be my first novel.

At one point in the reunion I found myself talking to someone about how I was trying to find more time to write.

Every suggestion she made, I rejected. None of them would work for me.

Last week I read a series of tweets by Gail Simone calling out people who say they “wish they had time to write.” (It seems to be gone now.) Gail, for a long time, worked two jobs, had a family and wrote. Actually I only read part of the series, because it made me uncomfortable. “That doesn’t apply to me,” I told myself. I need to exercise to stay physically and mentally healthy. I need to spend time with my family. I have a fascinating but brain-intensive day job.

Over the next few days, I heard my own voice in the voice of the excuses Gail refuted. I felt, to use a fine Christian term, convicted. Yet, I didn’t know the way forward.

Last night I finally turned to the ultimate source of solution when questioning how to live my life: prayer. I asked God to help me solve this problem, because I didn’t know the answer. And then, around 9:15 (a bit early for me, but not by much), I fell asleep.

I awoke spontaneously at 4 am, perfectly rested and awake. I usually wake up with the alarm at a 5:30 and determinedly press the snooze button once or twice. After considering this odd occurrence, I recognized an answer to my prayer. I got up, had a cup of coffee and wrote.

You may see an active subconscious in this, or you may see the grace of God. Whatever it is, I’m grateful for the reunion, for my friends, for Gail F’in Simone, and for this grace.

Now I’m going to go for a walk.